How to Utilize Tools Learned in Therapy to Create Safety Outside of Sessions

Published On: November 24, 2025Categories: Anxiety, Depression, Therapy Process, Trauma, Treatments
Learn how to use tools from therapy to create safety outside sessions, with tips on repetition, grounding, mindfulness & building your healing blueprint.

Something I struggled with early in both my personal and professional journey was helping clients feel like the tools they learned in therapy actually stick. The process of learning and applying tools may sound straightforward—learn the skill, use it, feel better—but in practice, it’s much more complex. Over time, I’ve come to understand that the real key to success in using therapeutic tools is repetition.

Repetition is what transforms knowledge into embodied experience. It’s what helps the nervous system remember: this is what safety feels like. And while it may sound overly simple, consistent repetition of your tools is the foundation for lasting change.

Creating Safety in the Body

When I was first introduced to somatic tools in my own therapy, I remember feeling frustrated. I would try breathing or grounding techniques and come back to my therapist saying, “They’re not working.” What I didn’t realize was that I wasn’t practicing them consistently enough for my body to trust and integrate them. I also expected a quick, magical fix—but there is no such thing in healing.

Healing takes time, patience, and gentle practice. Utilizing a tool is much like going to the gym to build a muscle. You wouldn’t expect to see change after one workout. In the same way, creating safety in your body takes ongoing effort. Each time you use a grounding exercise or a breathing technique, you’re strengthening your “mental fitness” and teaching your nervous system that it’s safe to relax.

For example, when I teach breathing tools to clients, I often explain that your body learns through repetition. Over time, your system begins to associate the start of a breathing exercise with calm. Nowadays, when I begin certain breathing techniques, I often yawn immediately—because my body has learned that these techniques signal settling in and regulation. It’s become an automatic cue for safety.

The Importance of Consistent Practice

When you first use a new tool, it might not feel like it’s working. That’s completely normal. Think of it like learning a new language or concept—you rarely master it after one try. Healing requires repetition and experimentation. You might discover that one breathing exercise feels grounding while another feels uncomfortable. Or that mindfulness helps in some moments but not others.

Through this process, you begin to identify what truly supports your body and your nervous system.

Not every tool works for every person. Some clients find comfort in tactile sensations like touching a soft blanket, while others calm through movement or smell. If you’re unsure what works for you, get curious about your sensory awareness. Do certain sounds, smells, or textures feel soothing? Experiment with different grounding tools—try a weighted blanket, use essential oils, or spend time outdoors. The goal is to find what resonates with your unique nervous system.

Matching Tools to Symptoms

Different symptoms often call for different tools. For example:

  • For anxiety, tools that activate the parasympathetic nervous system—like box breathing, grounding through the senses, or progressive muscle relaxation—are often most helpful.

  • For depressive symptoms, behavioral activation techniques can be more effective. These involve gentle action—such as going outside, engaging in a short activity for 5–10 minutes, or connecting with someone supportive—to help shift energy and mood.

The idea is not to use every tool you’ve ever learned, but to develop a personal “healing blueprint.” This blueprint helps you know what works best for you in specific settings, so you can turn to those tools when you need them most.

Keeping Your Tools Accessible

Even when we know what works, it’s easy to forget to use our tools—especially when we’re stressed. Keeping reminders accessible can make a big difference. You might save a list of your favorite tools in your phone, post it on your mirror, or set it as your screensaver. The easier it is to see your tools, the more likely you’ll remember to use them when you need them.

And if you forget, that’s okay. Healing isn’t linear. What matters most is that you come back to your practices again and again. Over time, consistent use will make these tools second nature, helping you build safety and regulation outside of the therapy room.

Therapeutic Approaches That Support This Process

In my practice as a psychotherapist in Westlake Village, Thousand Oaks, Agoura Hills, Calabasas, Ventura, and Los Angeles, California, I draw from a range of trauma-informed modalities to help clients integrate tools into their daily lives:

  • Somatic Trauma Therapy: Focuses on the body’s responses to trauma, helping clients reconnect with physical sensations, release stored tension, and work through emotions through mindful awareness.

  • EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): A powerful trauma therapy that helps the brain reprocess distressing memories and reduce emotional intensity. Clients can utilize BLS (bilateral stimulation) to ground on their own outside of sessions.

  • Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Emphasizes emotional regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness, and interpersonal effectiveness—great for building real-world coping skills.

  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Helps identify and shift unhelpful thought patterns that contribute to emotional distress.

  • Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Encourages mindfulness and acceptance while aligning actions with personal values.

  • Mindfulness-Based Interventions: Teach clients to slow down, notice their thoughts and sensations, and respond with compassion rather than reactivity.

Whether you’re working through trauma, emotional abuse, narcissistic abuse, or anxiety, the goal of therapy is to help you feel empowered to use your tools outside of sessions—so healing becomes part of your everyday life.

Final Thoughts

Creating safety in your body and life isn’t about finding the perfect tool—it’s about building trust with yourself through repetition, curiosity, and compassion. Over time, as you continue to practice, you’ll notice subtle shifts: your breath deepens, your body relaxes faster, and your capacity for calm expands.

Healing isn’t a single event—it’s a skill you practice every day.