The Importance of Gradual Trauma Therapy and Self-Work
A topic that comes up a lot for me both personally and professionally is the importance of gradual trauma therapy and self-healing work. Read on to find out more of my thoughts.
Why People Want “A Quick Fix”
In today’s fast-paced, results-driven society, we are conditioned to seek quick fixes for our discomfort, whether it be emotional, physical, or relational. This mindset is reinforced by a culture that prizes productivity over gentle, compassionate, and slow introspection and external solutions over internal growth; this is also reinforced by the medical model (we come to the doctor for a diagnosis and a quick solution to our physical ailment). We are surrounded by messages that promote instant gratification—whether through medication, self-help hacks, or social media advice—often bypassing the deeper, more complex roots of our pain. This approach can provide temporary relief, but it tends to ignore the long-term work of healing, which involves sitting with discomfort, building self-awareness, and gradually shifting patterns that have developed over time. After all, the kinds of patterns and thinking that got you here in the first place also took a very long time to be created and reinforced.
As a result, many clients come into trauma therapy hoping for a straightforward answer or a quick strategy to “fix” their symptoms. While it’s understandable to want fast relief, genuine, effective, and lasting therapy invites a different kind of process—one that values depth, patience, and connection over speed. True transformation often emerges not from avoiding pain, but from turning toward it with curiosity and compassion. Individual therapy should offer a conscious space to slow down, feel, and examine the inner world with honesty. As a psychotherapist specializing in trauma-informed care, I support clients in resisting the urge to bypass the hard work and instead guide them in cultivating resilience and lasting change from the inside out, one small step at a time.
Unhelpful Thinking Patterns
Often, in my work, which includes EMDR therapy, relationship therapy, somatic trauma therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, and mindfulness, I help clients find relief from their unhelpful thinking patterns and stuck emotions- although which one comes first is up for debate. Some will say that our thoughts lead to emotions, and others will argue that our emotions trigger certain thoughts. This is the basis of Cognitive Behavioral therapy (CBT).
Survivors of trauma often develop black-and-white or all-or-nothing thinking patterns as a protective response to overwhelming experiences. Trauma, especially when it occurs in childhood or repeatedly over time, can disrupt the brain’s ability to process nuance and ambiguity. In the face of chaos or danger, the nervous system adapts to keep a person safe by simplifying the world into extremes: safe vs. unsafe, good vs. bad, right vs. wrong. This kind of binary thinking helps the brain make quick decisions in threatening situations, which can be life-saving in the moment- but when carried into everyday life and in the aftermath of trauma, it often leads to emotional rigidity, overwhelm, and dysregulation as well as difficulty navigating complex relationships, emotions, and decisions.
These thought patterns reflect a survival strategy rooted in the need for control and predictability. When trauma compromises one’s sense of safety and trust, the brain tries to regain a sense of order by categorizing experiences in black-and-white terms. While this can provide short-term comfort or clarity, it often contributes to inner conflict, shame, or relationship struggles, as real life rarely fits neatly into absolutes. Part of my trauma healing work involves helping clients gently reintroduce the idea of “both/and” thinking (Dialectical Behavior therapy) —learning to tolerate gray areas, hold conflicting emotions, and build capacity for complexity and uncertainty in a way that feels safe and empowering.
I believe that due to the survival mechanisms in place and our brain’s effective ways of organizing information and seeking reward, we are conditioned to want a quick fix to our symptoms. However, the danger of forcing quick solutions to long-term emotional challenges and traumas is re-traumatization. In addition, quick solutions are often not synonymous with lasting, learned, and practiced over time change. I often work with people who have experienced re-traumatization as a result of psychedelic journeys or other “quick-fix” solutions and modalities.
Mental Health As Mental Fitness
I often tell my clients that they should view their mental health journey as mental fitness. In order to work and grow a certain muscle, you have to train effectively by exercising that muscle regularly. The same can be said for mental health. You can’t expect to show up to the gym one time and expect significant results; however, after a year of training and consistency, you can certainly have some “gains.” Mental health treatment, trauma therapy, or general individual therapy is a journey and a process. It is important to start with smaller goals and increase your progress gradually. Black-and-white or all-or-nothing thinking does not help heal trauma, but doing the work gradually and slowly does.
