The Evolution of Boundaries in Family Therapy: From Structural Roots to Modern Healing
When we talk about “boundaries” today, it’s often in the context of personal growth and self-care — learning to say no, recognizing our limits, and protecting our peace. But the concept of boundaries actually has deep roots in the history of psychotherapy. The modern idea of boundaries emerged from family systems theory, particularly through the groundbreaking work of Salvador Minuchin, who developed Structural Family Therapy (SFT) in the 1960s.
The Origins of Boundaries in Family Therapy
In the mid-20th century, psychotherapy began shifting away from viewing individuals in isolation and started examining people within their family systems — the network of relationships that shape identity, behavior, and emotional patterns. Salvador Minuchin, an Argentinian-born psychiatrist, was one of the key figures leading this transformation.
Minuchin observed that many emotional and behavioral struggles could not be fully understood without considering how families were structured. He introduced the idea that families operate through subsystems (such as parent-child, marital, or sibling subsystems) and that each subsystem is defined by boundaries — the invisible lines that determine roles, expectations, and levels of closeness or separation.
Boundaries, as Minuchin saw them, weren’t about “cutting people off” or “keeping people out.” Rather, they served a functional purpose within the family structure. They helped maintain clarity of roles (for example, between a parent and a child), containment (so emotions and responsibilities didn’t spill across generations), and stability (so families could adapt without collapsing under stress).
For Minuchin, healthy family systems had clear but flexible boundaries. This meant members could maintain closeness and connection while also respecting individuality and autonomy. Problems arose when boundaries became too diffuse (enmeshed) or too rigid (disengaged) — patterns that could contribute to conflict, anxiety, or disconnection.
Boundaries Then vs. Boundaries Now
While Minuchin’s concept of boundaries was primarily systemic — focused on the structure of families — the idea has evolved significantly over the decades. Today, therapists and individuals use the word boundaries in a more personal, relational, and emotional sense.
In modern trauma therapy, EMDR therapy, somatic trauma therapy, and individual therapy, boundaries are seen as essential tools for emotional safety and self-regulation. They are less about defining family roles and more about protecting psychological well-being.
For example, someone healing from narcissistic abuse or emotional abuse may learn to establish firmer boundaries to protect themselves from manipulation or overgiving. A person in relationship therapy might explore how unclear boundaries have led to resentment or codependency. In mindfulness-based or trauma-informed care, boundaries are viewed as part of grounding and self-awareness — knowing where “I end and you begin.”
In this way, the boundary concept has expanded from a family systems lens into a personal healing practice. Whether in online sessions or in-person sessions across Westlake Village, Thousand Oaks, Agoura Hills, Calabasas, Oak Park, Ventura, or Los Angeles, I help clients explore how to create boundaries that feel safe, compassionate, and sustainable.
The Three Types of Boundaries: Porous, Rigid, and Healthy
Understanding the types of boundaries can help us see where we might need to strengthen or soften our edges:
1. Porous Boundaries
Porous boundaries occur when a person has difficulty saying no or differentiating their emotions from others. They may absorb others’ stress, take responsibility for others’ feelings, or fear rejection if they set limits.
Example: A person constantly says yes to family requests, even when overwhelmed, because they feel guilty for disappointing others.
2. Rigid Boundaries
Rigid boundaries are overly strict or inflexible. This often develops as a protective response to trauma or emotional pain. While rigid boundaries may prevent vulnerability, they can also lead to isolation or disconnection.
Example: After years of betrayal, someone avoids emotional intimacy entirely, keeping others at a distance to feel safe.
3. Healthy Boundaries
Healthy boundaries balance openness with protection. They allow for closeness without losing one’s sense of self and help maintain mutual respect in relationships.
Example: Saying, “I’d love to support you, but I need some rest tonight — can we talk tomorrow?” is a sign of a clear, kind boundary.
Boundaries as a Pathway to Healing
In trauma therapy, establishing healthy boundaries is often one of the first steps toward healing. When someone has lived through emotional or sexual abuse, their boundaries were often violated — sometimes repeatedly. Rebuilding them is not just a psychological process; it’s a somatic one. Through somatic trauma therapy, individuals learn to listen to the body’s cues — the tightening in the chest, the quickened heartbeat — as messages about safety and needs.
Boundaries help create a sense of containment, much like Minuchin described decades ago. They allow emotions to have a place, relationships to have structure, and the self to feel protected yet connected. Whether through Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), mindfulness, or EMDR, the process of healing and learning to set and maintain boundaries helps people move from surviving to thriving.
Full Circle: From Structure to Self
Salvador Minuchin’s work laid the foundation for understanding how boundaries shape relationships and well-being. Though his framework was built for families, the spirit of his insight — that healthy systems need clear, adaptive boundaries — continues to guide therapy today.
As our understanding of healing deepens, boundaries have evolved from abstract family concepts into deeply personal tools for empowerment, balance, and growth. Whether practiced in the therapy room or in everyday interactions, boundaries remain a cornerstone of trauma-informed, compassionate care.
